A few polyamory ‘vocabulary’ terms
When you’re new to the world of polyamory and non-monogamous relationships you might encounter many new terms. Those can help to better talk about the diversity and flexibility in the structure of relationships. Below are some of the most common terms that come up:
1. Polycule: A polycule is a constellation in polyamory in which several people are in romantic or sexual relationships with each other and are connected in a close emotional network. The members of a polycule can have romantic relationships with each other, either as couples or in more complex constellations. Not every member necessarily has to date every other memeber however! Polycules are often characterised by strong communication and close relationships between the participants.
2. Metamour: A metamour is your partner's partner in a polyamorous relationship. In other words, it is the person with whom you do not have a romantic or sexual relationship, but who nevertheless has an influence on your life and your relationship. The interactions and relationships between metamours can vary greatly, ranging from complete strangers to friendly relationships.
3. Compersion: Compersion is a term used in polyamory to describe the positive feeling a person experiences when they see their partner finding joy, happiness and fulfilment in another relationship. It contrasts with jealousy and emphasises the ability to feel joy at your partner's happiness, even if it is not caused by your own relationship. Compersion is nice, however, no compersion is needed to successfully date polyamorously! Striving to feel “okay” (not distressed or upset) is a worthy goal.
4. Comet: A ‘comet’ is a term used to describe a type of relationship in which one person periodically and irregularly enters the life of another, much like a comet that occasionally appears in the sky. These relationships can be sporadic and often involve long breaks between encounters.
5. Vee: The ‘Vee’ is a concept in polyamory in which one person (the ‘hinge’ or ‘centre’) has romantic or sexual relationships with two or more people. At the same time the relationships of the “arms” of the ‘V’ have no romantic or sexual connection to each other, but are independent of each other.
6. Nesting partner: In polyamory, a nesting partner is often a person with whom one shares a living situation or family. This relationship can involve a high degree of stability and responsibility and is often seen as the ‘central’ relationship in a polyamorous network — but it doesn't have to be! The relationship can be similar in many ways to traditional monogamous marriage, but it can also include other partner relationships.
Interested in what the different polyamory styles are? Read more here.